HARRY XI: AND THE QU1CKSK0P3 OF DOOM
by jasonmerc
Summary: I was lazy so i didnt finish this for a while it tool me like half a year but it shouldnt've been that long. anyway enjoy this story, and theres more to come with regard to other storys soon. anyway again, harry xi is sent to hogwarts and he has abilities beyond any other wizor dout there, but will tragedy strike him? of course it will, its a harry poter book for gosh sake!


**HARRY XI: AND THE QU1CKSK0P3 OF DOOM**

By Jason Merecede

AUTHORS NHOTE: this is a non cannon story based on Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets PC Version because lets player Damurjin Y inspired me to like this game a lot. instead of focussing on harry poter we focus on harry xi (its pronounced like "she" almost but the "sh" part is more like a "j" sound)

Chapter 0: Invitations

Harry xi was at home because he jus got back from his school. he was walking home because he was on his way home. "wow those miterms were really tough glad thats over with" harry xi thoughted to himself. "ay harry wait up" his friend Joson said. "harry did you cee the new youtube video about the guy who gets locked in his room" Joson said while he wore his glasses. "no i deednt now im gonna go in and do homeworks" harry xu said as he entered his house door. but before he did there was a Letter on the ground! it was addresed to a different address but harry xi opened it anyway and didnt pay attentions to the who it was really mailed to. the letter said 'DEAR YOUNG PERSON, YER A WIZORD. COEM TO HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF MINISTRY AND MAGIC AND THERES NOTHING BAD GOING ON HERE. SO PLEASE WATCH OUT FOR THE OWL HE WILL GUIDE YOU." then a white owl came. he led harry to a bus and he got on the bus. he was at a train station and went to the train stop after FaZeing through the wall. "wow" harry xi saud. he stopped at the gift shop and bought something labeled 'HOGWARTS UNIFORM ONLY 5 BUCKS' from a shady looking pakistani man who might have been counterfeit. then he got on the HOGWARTS EXPRESS and on his way to a new adventure!

Chapter 1: He was going on Hogwarts

harry xi was ride on the hogwargs express. he had a ruger charger .22 magnum pistol with foregrip and 1.5x sk0p3 acog.. he was siting in a train car in the traanin when suddenly ron bursted in. "Harry hi. you shou;ld get your wand because its your first year here." harry xi said "ok" and he went to the wond car in the train to get his wond. the wondmaster said "Hello welcom to the wond car. i am the wondmaster L0rdVega. here is your wond n00b" and harry xi got a green stick plastic. "hey what is this i thoughted i got a wond made of wooden" but l0rdvega said "buget cuts bruh" and harry xi left. ron was wait in the trainand said "come on lets go see harry poter harry xu". Then a brief case feel into their way. "Uh oh! We can't geet around Harry Xi! I'll show yuo how to cast flipendo. Just do this" and ron waved his wond a round and threw flipendo at the brief case and it feel out the window and a bunch of money came out and beans. Harry Xu lookef said "flipendo" and a box flew on someone. They continued there advanture through the train car when rom remember "wait a second harry poter isn't heer. And neither am I." Then harry xi waked up.

Chapter 2: The disastrous colamity

Harry xi was on the ground because ghe feel out of a car. Ron was stuck on a tree that womped. "HARRAY HELP ME" ron scramed. Harry poter went around the tree looking for the flipendo spot and harry xi said "harry is over here" so he went there. "FLIPENDAU" harry poter said and ron was the free. Harry xo laughed a little bit under his reath and thought "thas funny it sounded like he said NINTENDAU". Harry xi examiled it and went into the castle because it was late at night and he bypassed the alohomora spot cause he didn't really have a wond. but he wrnt to the house carimony.

Chapter 3: The Cerimony And Team

Harry xi sat with harry poster and ron weasly and hermine something. Then someone cam out of the door over there. It was a tall wizord who went to the top front thing and gave a speech. This was immediately being recognize as dumpledore. "Welcome students old and new this is hogworts and I'm dumpledore please enjoy your stay and get good grades now were gonna see what team harru xi is on" so harry xi went to the front of the podium. He put the talking hat on and he thinker. Their was a long moment of silence that seemed like forever. "Hmm" said the hat. "Cmon Hufflepuff Hufflepuff " harry xi thoughted. "HUFFLEPOOF!" said the HAT. harry xi happied. "LEL JK GRIFUNDOOR" "deamit" said harry xi like the dad does on happy wheels. "YAY HARRAY YOUR WITH US"

"oh yeah"

Chapter 3: The Common Room

Hargy Xi and Harry poster went to the room but a door was locked. They said "this is the commin room harry xi. You can save your game by touching the book." harry xi saved his game and sat on the couch in the common room which was by a fireplace. Tomorrownwill he a big day for harry Xu. Then he drifted off into the veryist deep speep.

Chapter 4: The First Day

Harry xi awokened went off the couch. He realized he didn't have his wond yet. "Holy tomatoes I need get my wond." He remembered as he tripped and feel down the stairs. He remembered the entrance hall and asked the lady where the wonts were. "You must proceed to Dumpledore hell give you a wond." The said. So harry xi went to professors office. "Ah helo Harry xi how is your time here so far?" Dumpledire said. "Its food now where do I my wond?" Harry xi quickly asked. "Ah yes harry Xu here is your wond." Harry xi got a wooden wond with nice tiger stripes in the wood and a rubber Hogue Grip on the end. Harry Xu took some duck tape and tapped the wond on his charger which he hidden in his pocket. Then he went to defence of the dark arts.

Chapter 5: Would you be interested in trading

on his way on the slippery staircase he feel off because he tried to jump on the stairs while it was moving and he couldnt see because of his cardbord glasses.. "ouch" harry xu said and half the lighning bolt was gone. "Would you be intersted in _traiding?"_ the girl asked harry xi. "uh no you see i have no jelybeans" harry xi commented. "You know best harry xi!" harry xi walked around and then as he was return up the stairs he ran by that girl again. "Would you be intrested in _traiding?"_ the girl said again. harry xi ran u the stairs and rom and hermine and harry poser were already there. those four students were the only one who class. professor put his mirror down and said "Gooood morning clahss it is i preofessor Lockheart. we will be learnding Rictusemprah today. I need a volunteer who can trace my floating icon. ah it is you harry…" but harry xi feel asleep in the middle of classes. he woke up when the lockheart screamed "HARRY XI ARE YOU AWAKE YOU MUTS TRACE THE ICON"! harry xi pressed the keys correctly and stumbled into the door.

Chapter 6: Rictseprah Challenge!

Harry xi was waiting for the timer to start so he could collect the stars. then it did so he ran off to get all of them. harry xi almost got hit by a snail at one point, but luckily he was in the process of knowing Rictusemprah! he walked by a wall that seemed suspicious. "Hmm dis wall is oddly looking?" so he exampled it. then he remebered that he could do something! "Alohomora" said his wond. the wall turned and he saw a chest. he opened the chtes and there was a bronze wizorrd card. "I got Merlin's brother Morlin" harry xu eplained. then he had to go across the bridge but the door was close whenhe went in! then turtles appeared and were going to fireball him but then… Harry Xi started to jump around and QuickSpell them with his magicwond. "rictusemprah" he said like 6 time. the turles feel over bckwards and then they couldnt move anymore. harry xi got all of the starts except the big one at theend. he had to go up a twisty platform in order to achieve his goal.

Chapter 7: The Twisty Platform To The Very Goal

harry xo snapped his neck and whipped the sweat off his head. "its STOP time" he said funnily. "haha you get it because its supposed to be, like its GO time but stop is the, opposite of go and its like why would it be stop time why would anyone need to-" HARRY XI WAS HIT BY A FIREBALLL! he almost feel down to the bottom but then heremebered that he didnt climb yet so he was already the bottom. he decided to take out these tortles the old fashioned way. "Rigtusemprah! he shouted." then the turtle feel over backwards and into the center thing where it landed. then a wooden beam shrunk itself into a wall. "hey it appears as if the path has been cleared" he thought to himself. then he realized thet there was other wooden boards obstructing his goal and that there was only 500 on the timer./ "wow i should get the other ones down there" he climbed. he jumped over the missing part of the path that wasnt there and came across a nother tutrle. on his way up he saw a poster adfertisement for "BERTIE BOTTS EVER FLAVORED BEANS EAT THEM THERE DELICIOUS BUT ONLY SOMETIMES" it said to harry xi. harry xi made his way up to the top as he was rictusempring turtles into the center but he was going to jump to the cage to complete his time. as he was jumping he didnt make it all the way so he grabed the ledge. "ive come this far to die now!" he motivated himself and climed up and got the star. then a voice out of nothwere said

Chapter 7.5: CONGLATURATIONS HARRY YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE RICTUSEMPRAH CHALLANGE

Harry xi got 25 exp points and 250 house points. "Top kek" harry xi said.

Chapter 8: The First Weekly Annual House Pont Ceremony

arry xi got out of his challenge and saw ron weasle there. "harry xi goot job its me ron weasley and this is the harry potter" "hi" harry potter said. "lets go to the house point ceremony follow me" so harry xi followed them but not before getting some beans from the witch statues. "maybe i can trade with this" he hought. then there was dumpledore in the room next to the walls. "id like to congratulade all of our hardworker students for being so good this week. this is the house point ceraminy. and according to the wall GRYFFINDOR IS the leading team this week." the gryffindorks cheered happily. "now you get to visit the bean room harry…" harry xi was on his way… "Potter. so that means go away harry xi." "oh ard." harry xi said. so he went away.

authors note: Oh Ard is like the cool way of saying Oh Alright because Alright shortened kinda sounds liek Ard. You pronounce Ard like Hard but without the H its just Ard.

Chapter 9: The Sport ?

Fast forward an amount of time and Harry Xi was cleaning out his ruger charger pistol becaus ehe hadnt cleaned it out in a while. 'HARRY XP QUICKLY COME LOOK' ron weasley said which made harry xi spill his Hoppes#9 everywhere. "this stuff is expensive" he said sadly. they rushed to the outside and ther was the Quitich gate opened. "harry xi look right here, its quiddich. do you want to play? or naw?" hormonie said. harry xi looked convincingly at the chalkboard with the schedule all over it. "nah imgood" harry xi said but he went to watch harry potter play. "What a grate day for a _QUITTICH_ match!" the announcer guy said. harry potter flew at the golden thing to snitch it. then the hufflepuff guy came at harry potter. just as harry was about to get it they passed byt the really high audience stand thing that harry xi was sitting in. "how did i get all the way up here" harry xi thought. but then something slipped. it was his ruger charger pistol with acog scope and bipod. it feel onto the ground and PFT it shot a round off because it was quiet with a supressor. it hit the harry potter knee and harry potter had to dive down as he got hurt right after he caught the golden thing. "oh no, thats gotta be a tragedy, folfs!" the announcer said. "Now who will substiture out for harry potter for the rest of the matches of _QUITTICH_?" he asked. then harry xi was sitting there. "I know lets' get Harry Xi to do it!" the announcer said. every one was cheered for him/.. "drat" harry xi said. So they went back to there rooms.

Chapter 10: What Is Going On Here

Fast forward more amounts of time and harry xi was at his room staring at the fireplace playing Crossy Road on his ipone4s he brought with him. "this wifi sucks" harry xi said. "oh wait theres no wifi this is like 1999 or something" he smarted. harry xi went downstairs to the place with the staircases. then ron weasley appeared on the second floor. "HARRY SOMETHING HAPPENED" he said as harry potter and harry xi both used the slippery staircase to get up there. When they arrive they saw that there was word blood on the wall with the cat Norris lying there next to a lantern stick holder. "_sweet holy peppers how did this happen" harry xu asked. But no one said anything. "ILL BET IT WAS POTTAH" mean jannitor said. "Nau it wosnt me" harry potter said. "we have to find out who it is" harry xi said. but then he had to go learn the skurg challenge.

Chaper Televen: Learning About Skurge

Teacher said "HELLO WERE GONNA DO SKURGE" then the teacher looked arund and pointed at harry potter. "YOU! PRESS ARROWS! NOW!" then harry potter did it with only missing 1 arrow and he got some house points. "YOU! THE SHORT ONE! CHALLENGE! NOW!" hary xi was concerned. "Jeeze Louize fine ok ill do it gosh" so he walked over… Harry xi prepared himself to run and get the stars which he was now doing. he had to go all the way down the thing to get to the final challenge star. first harry xi had to get by the green slime crap. "Oh my gooness how will i get past this?" . "Oh yeah ill use my recently obtained knowledge of the Skurg Spell" so he whipped his wond around and said SKURG and it shot stuff and then the green was disappeared. then he continued on the hallways but not before finding a secret panel which he flipendod. it revealed a chest with a qizord card. "I got Snape's brother Alexander VV" harry xi thought. it was a bronze one so it was crappy and not worth a lot. then as he went along he saw something odd. it was chest. "hey lets go open the, CHEST" harry xi said while pointing at it. then the blue ghost came out. duel engage. Peeves tried to slap harry xi and he did and his glasses fell onto the groun. "oh no my glasses where are they?" hey yelled. "Hahahaha! little baby gryffinDORK" peeves said to harry xi. harry xi got angry at peeves. harry xi got up. peeves charged at him when harry xi wasnt looking. within a flash, suddenly harry xi turned to him and QuickSpelled a skurg right at his eyes making him kill. "how did i…" harry xi thought. "ah well." so he went on to finnish the challenge. then he did.

Chapter 12: Snape's Medicine Closet.

harry xi and potter went into the medicine closet because the four had a plan. this was their plan.

"ok we need to find out whats going on but we can use plyjuice poton to sneak into slytherin."

so harry xi and harry potter went to get some ingrediendts to make it. harry potter had to jump trough the dungeons and avoid the turtles to get the medicine because it was very VERY dagerous. then they got the ingrediants and went into moaning murtle's barthroom. hermine kept on mixing the concoction together while ron and harry potter were standing there. meanwhile Harry Xi was out in the courtyord. "we will ave to wait for harry xi before we inflrate slytherin" harry potter said. "he could be of useful help" heromine said.

Chapter 13: Praticing his spelOH MY GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Harry xi was practicing with the teacher on his spelling skills so he had the same skills as harry poter and all of his other friends. the teacher released a bunch of turtles by accident. "Oh No Harry xi! i cant get them back in!" the teacher was to help but she couldn't because she fallen and she couldnt get up. Harry xi saw the 10 turtles around him and was scared for his life. "Jesus Lord, I am going to die!" he imagined. the turtles turtned around and prepared to ass-blast fire at him. Just then, he felt something click from his brain. his anguish turned into neutral emotion. he examined the cage that he was in with glowing yellow invincible eyes he just got. he was ready.

one turtle carged at harry xi, but harry xi did a backflip over it and QuickSpelled a richtersemprah right in its face before landing on his feet and doing a cartwheel over to the ther one. harry was lnged at by it but he doged it like the matrix. he flipendod its stomach and it feel down on another one crushing its legs becuase it was so heavy. harry went to the outside of the cage. he rage was building up inside him. a turtle charged at him and he jumped right out of the way so it smashed into the cage and got cold. as he was midair he cast a QuickSpell on another one which caused it to flip upside down and launch his fire at another turtle making it burn. "Oh, baby a triple! oh yeah" karry xi said. he ran up the circular cage on its wall and did a backflip off the top. he took out his ruger charger with acog sk0p3 and QuickScoped another one below him twice. one more shot fire and almost hit harry xi if he hadn't already rolled over and flipped the turtle over with a Lingardium Leviosa. "I- i didnt even know he learnt that spell..." the teacher said with aghast as she watched the amazing spectacle to behold. two more. harry xi n0sk0pd one of them in the eye with a flipendo causing his eyeball to turn 360 degrees around in its head tearing itself out. there was one left, the biggest one of all. it was time to end this. harry xi ran up to it with all of his might and cast flipendo once. the turtle got hit back. the turtle shot a fireball at harry xi, but he HardSkoped the fireball making it poof away. harry xi was in rage mode. he rictusemprah the turtle causing it to fly at the cage and fall down. harry xi flipendod it into the air. "Wumbo combo!" he flipendo'd it one more time. " _ **Wumbo combo!"**_ slightly louder. harry xi Lingardium Leviosa's it hitting the turtle to the top of the cage to make it fall down right on him. "WUMBO COMBO!" harry xi twisted his body down to charge for the shot, right as the turtle was about to land. harry xi jumped in the air sideways and power kicked its head clean off, shattering it into slimy pieces of bone. "WOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!1!1111111! 2!" he shouted. harry xi cooled off and fell down, unconscious of what was around him.

Chapter 14: Medical Wing Talk With A SPecial Guest...

harry xi woke up on a bed which was the next thing he knew. "oh goody, you are finally awake." a nurse said. "You were out cold on the practice field. the instructor, she said, she'd never seen anything like it." harry xi said "I just felt this incredible boost of confidence and energy. like i was gonna explode or something". "Well, she called in someone to discuss it with you. he specializes in Mysterious and Unusuaul Magic, and hes good at rts games." harry xi noticed his clothes had been taken off before he was placed in the bed with the covers over. he spotted his ruger charger and wond on the table next to him. "at least i wasnt stripped of my rights" he thoughed. minute passed by and harry xi was done eating his chicken noodle clam chowder shoup. a man came in the doorway. he had a green hat, with red clothes and a cape. his roughed up brown gloves and boots signified that he has been trough tough times. he carried a bow with a plentiful quifer of arrows. "is this the one?" he asked. "why yes, sir. he hwas here for a while. he just got his awake back a 5 minutes ago." "I request to be alone" the man said. everyone left. "no not you, you have to stay". harry xi went back to bed and continued being sick and weary. the man got a chair and prepared for a long talk. "Harry Xi, it is?" harry xi said "y- yes and i am tired". the man looked at him. "You… have something." "no crap" harry xi said. "my studies have proven this to be _possible_ , but i've never actually _seen_ it. she told me what happened" "harry xi stared at his empty bowl. "i wan more soup" harry xi said. "fine ill get it" man said. the man got mroe soup from the cauldron. he came back to give it to him, but he tripped on a loose floorboard and it spilled on harry xi. "AAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW" harry said because it was hot. "lel" the man said. "clam down youll be fine" so he did. harry xi was picking at the bits of noodle and "chicken" as the man continued to talk. "My name is Prof. Damurjin, and you have… and forgive me for its name i cant think of anything better at the time… no really you are probably going to hate it… dont judge… get ready… here it comes… ….*his face intensifies*.… ...the Qu1cksk0p3." harry xi was cornfused. "under strenuous  situations, you have the amazing ability. you are capable of bending the laws and fabrics of time and space itself, once yu learn how to controll it. To put it short... Yer a TrickShotter, harry". harry xi said "cool" and ate the last piece of "chicken". "however" he said as he dramatically raised his hands Damurjin continued… "don't abuse tese powers. i know how cliche it is to have something like this in a story but the author cant think of anything else to put at this point." harry xi said "yeah Jason Merecede is kind a a shity author". thats not kind, harry xi. so harry xi went back to sleep and soon he was feeling better after having major cramps in his inenstines.

Chapter 15: Learning Something

Harry xi woke up early to get ready for school but suddenly an announcement from dumpledore's office came over the intercom. " _ **ATTENTION STUDENTS!**_ " he yelled at the top of his lungs so loudly. "theres a snow day." harry xi was happy and could'nt go back to sleep so he got some _MAGICAL_ coffee. as he stared out the window at the piling up snow he thought about his powers. "i could really use these for bad things. but I am a good person so i must take responsibility and use them to aid in mankind's struggle for world peace. the world needs a good QU1CKSK0P3R after all. but what is the meaning of life?" suddenly it appeared. there was a figure that harry xi knew was going to tell him the meaning of life. he was faint and in the sky. the figure waved his hands around and glden letters revealed. the letters said "WHAT IS 8 * 5". harry xi smiled. "42." then harry xi got touched by ron on the shoulder. "harry XI did you hear? we have an unusual snow day today! yay harry xi! this is good! i am so excited, harry xi!" hernine came in too. "harry, we are ready to infiltrate slytherine. all we must do is collect a dna sample of some slytherin dude and then we can get harry potter to drink the polyjuice poion!" harry xi nodded because he knew what he had to do now. "hmm… maybe we can get some of goyle!" harry potter suggested. everyone jumped and dd a "YAY" and then harry potter and harry xi went to go get goyle. "i can use my powers" harry xi said. so then harry potter and harry xi both had to go through this barn area to get to Goyle who was dropping chicken legs everywhere. "we need to climb up this woll" harry potter said with his british accent. "you know best harry." harry xi said with his amurikan accent. so they climed over the wall and hit the switch things with red and blue to get across there. then harry xi saw something. "Oh my it is a statue lets lght it up." "ALOEHAMORA!" harry xi said and the wond became illuminated. then the wall vanished behind the wall and a chest revealed. harry xi opened it and a silver card came out! "you gan have this one harry potter, i have it already" so harry potter took it. then eventuall they braved through the winter snow and they saw Goyle sleep in the barn. "shh…" harry potter shhd. "we dont want to wake him" he whispered. so harry ci walked over. "ALOEHAMORA!" he casted and opened the door. then harry xi took some of goyle and they returned to the bathroom.

Chapter 16: Mixing the Potion

so as harry potter and xi returned they realized that they were in Moaning Murtle's bathroom. harry potter and ron and hermine were by the cauldron mixing the concoction and harry xi was leaning on the sink nearby waiting for them to finish. harry xi shifted around a bit and knocked off the faucet of the one sink, but no water came out. the other 3 were still fully attentioned to the caludron. harry xi said "oh shhhhh…" and he tried to put the faucet back on. unfortunately for him, he put it on upside down. "stupid, stupid, stupid faucet." he said and hit it. suddenly the top of the sinks blew off and the wall to the sinks opened up, revealing a giant hole. harry xi said "god….darnit" and looked over to the other 3. they were still not paying attention to what just happened. so harry xi quickly pushed the sinks back closed again and started to inconspicuousy whistle. "there, the potions are done" said her. then hary potter drank it all. his feet began to grow, conveniently his shoes grew along with them. he became really ugly and his bathrobe changed from black and red to black and yellow because whatever he does he does it big. harry xi went away to get something. "how do you feel, Erm...Harry?" ron asked. "duh… i feel… good… d'i guess…" he had a deeper voice. "hey, hows harry xi gonna get into slytherine with you, Erm...Harry?" harmine asked. then harry xi same back with a slytherin outfit. "this is how" he said. "perfect, now we can work!" they said in unison and left. moaning myrtle came out to see what was going on, but then suddenly the top of the sink went down and crushed her.

Authors note: its a magical sink top that can kil ghosts too.

Chapter 17: Finally Infiltrating Slytherin's Compound

Harry xi and harry potter went down to the dungeons after jumping and waiving the wonds to make a spellcast so their robes magically folded back to their body midair a copuple of times. then they saw a real slytherin person go to a wall and say "PURE-BLOOD" and the wall opened for him. Erm...Harry went too and said the same thing and it didnt open. then he said the same thing again and it didnt. "try saying 'pure-blood'" harry xi suggested. Erm...Harry said pure blood and it opened. now they had to jump around some dungeons to get to the slytherine compound more. one time they had to stand in the center of this one room where the door spun around to reveal things and it gave harry xi a headache and dissiness. after all that was done, they got to a part where they had to cros bridge being held up with skurg slime. the slytherine disciple they were stalking came out and was going to skurg the slime so it would go away. but not if harry xi has anything to do with it. harry xi got his Charger ready and was hardsk0p1ng… "haha, good luck getting across THIS, goyle!" the disciple yelled. just as the slytherine disciple raised his wond to cast a spell, harry xi fired at the wond and it broke from his hand. but ahrry xi was hidden with some magical blanket he found on the Gryffindors' couch. the mean slytherine disciple looked around and ran away screaming! "what the… SNAPE" the disciple shouted. so the two then simple passed the bridge and were now in the hidden Slytherine compund, that was hidden really well compared to the gryfindor compund tht literally anyone could get to basically and was in the main part of the castle.

Chapter 18: Discussions

Erm...Harry went up to draco malfoy. "duh… malfoy… whos the air of slythrin… duh… again?" malfoy was angry. "Argh! how many times do i have to tell you, buffoon! it isnt me! we dont know who it is or something. but apparently the thing that is killing everyone is going to killa MUDBLOOD next. i hope its hermine." Erm...Harry worried. "Duh, i have to..go" he said slowly. "why? and get that **pained** expression off your face too!" malfoy yelled back. "duh, my stomach hurts and uh… i need to… get something...yeah" "well go on then! and get that **pained** expression off your face too!" malfoy pointed. meanwhile harry xi was talking with another slytherin. "yeah hey" harry xi said. "whos the heir of slytherin?" he askied. "hmm…" the man said. "I have no clue. sorry i couldnt help you." "nah is okay" harry xi said back. "PETER! GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME READ THIS BOOK!" someone shouted.

"yes, coming! im sorry, i just had to talk to some-"

"JUST GET OVR HERE!"the person said back.

peter left to go to a room.

meanwhile hary xi met up with Erm...Harry. suddenly Erm...Harry started to shake. he returned to his potter state of being. "au nau, the potion musve worn ooff!" he said with his british accent. "we must leave, harry xi!" so they started to ran away. "hey, come back here!" someone shouted and ran oafter them. harry xi's slytherine robe feel off and was back to his normal red gryfindor one. "hey, you are not supposed to be here" the slytherine girls said and ran oafter them all at once creepily. they were going to the door but then some slytherines blocked the exitway off! "oh crap how we going to leave!?/!?" harry xi worried out loud. they ran back around and ran into the slytherone rooms where they stayed and ran into a room and closed the door so they didnt know where to get them at. harrys exhaled. "Wha…?" the harrys turned around. peter was standing there cleaning off his wond with some Fantastik which he using to clean his rom.. there was an awkward momement of silence. "you see, we just…" harry potter started. "...we just wanted to know… more about they, you know, freezings of people, so we figured we would, get...answers here?" peter started at them and exhaled. helooked slightly down at the ground and said "i know im gonna be in trouble for this…" and peter walked out the room and said "HEY EVERYONE! I SAW THEM GO IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE DOOR LEADING OUT OF HERE" and everyone went there. "you're good to go" peter said. they walked out. harry xi looked back and said "hey, thanks man. ur cool" and peter smiled a little bit and walked out of his room somewhere.

Chapter 19: Dueling Time

Flash forward and it was spring time so sunny outside. then harry xi realized he was going to get annoyed by Ron soon, so he left his common room to go somewhere away. He went down to the entrance hull, and then he went over to the left, like where the banquet room is. he listened and he heard someone coming downstairs yelling "Harry, where are you harry xi"? then harry xi went over to someone. the person said. "Ill bet you 5 beans". hsarry xi said "sure whatever we just need to get out of here." he clicked OK and then they went into another room that was somewhere. they each stood on sides of a pit with watching over the side. the snape said "welcome to dueling. you can only use rictusemprah, expelliamus, and the other one." so they bowed their heads. harry xi got hid wond ready. "rictusemprah" harry xi said but the other guy dodged it. "rictusemprah" the other said and harry xi curled up into a ball and got hit and it hurted. then the other person from Huffelpoof slashed the spell again to his direcion. "expeliamus" harry xi said and it bounced off of him and back at the other person. n. then the other person did the same thing. they were tennis the speel back and forth. eventually the spell ball grew a lot and it hit the other peron and NOT haryy xi. the other person shook his head because she lost. harry xi got some beans. snape came up to harry xi. "wow harry xi you are. really good. for a grydindor.". harry said xi "uh tanks." so he wenrt away. the dueling for today was over. then harry xi noticed ron weasley runnig out iof the building.

Chapter 20: Diffindo Spell

Harry xio noticed the door to the greenhouse and went in it. everyone was there. then harry xi went to the front of the room to practice drawing the diffindo spell because treacher lady said to do it. but harry xi failed. "you fail" teacher lady said. harry poter got it right though and went to do the diffindo challenge while harry xi satyed behind. but somehow harry xi now learned how to do fffindo. harry xi had nothing to do so he went to the banquet hall and got some coffees.

Chapter 21: Quittich Match 1

Harry xi was wondering around with nothing to do around the campus. he just got some Folgers coffee and didnt know what to do after he drank it all up. then he noticed the quittich gates were open. "oh no." hrry xi said. "Harry you need to play quittich today since you are subbing for Harry Potter!" the weasley twins said. "here you can use the super top scret NIMBUS 2002. Harry xi accepted the gift friendly so he went into the garte and played quittich. herry poter was there on the sideline with a visible bandage on leg from the wound. lets not talk about the last quittich match… harry xi holstered his charger and went ontop the broom. "Wot a grayte day foh a _QUITTICH_ match!" announcer said with some heavy british accent. harry xi was the snitch catcher. "this is goig to be bad" harry xi thinked. the match started and harry xi flew after the quittich snitch. then suddenly a hufflepuuf came after him and tried to snitch the snitch from harryxi. "go away" barry xi said. the hufflepuff came at him and said "YOU COULD HAVE BEEN WITH WITH US" and hit harry xi and made him swerve from control. the hufflepuff came at harry xi sagain and punched him off the broom so he feel down ion the ground. the snitch was almost in the hands of him. harry xi lay there. he was thinking a thousand things….. oh no not this again… harry xi looked up. he got his charger and n0k0ped the snitch away from the man. as he got on his broom he n0sk0ped it again and again and again so he never got it. "MOM GET THE CAMERA" he shouted. harry xi flew up to the speaker that the announcer was announcing through and threw dorito cheese on it so it played gaming dubbstep. harry xi was the SWAG LORD. he put on a fedora and went to the hufflepuff man and backfliped onto his broom and roundhouse punched him off the broom right in the stomach. harry xi took his broom and threw it really hard at the golden snith midair. the broom punctured the snitch and it feel off the air lifeless landing right in harry xi's hand after harry xi landed on the grass like a b0ss.

"i win" he said.

 _ **And that marks the beginning of Harry Xi's long and successful Quidditch career.**_

Chapter 22: Aftermath

unfortunatly, harry xi was banned from the quittich server for speedhacks. "friggin noobs" he said. he wandered back to the gryfindor common room. he sat on the couch exhausted. then suddenly he heard someone say "mudblood". "welcome back" the fat lady portrait said. "wait thats slytherin password" harry xi thought but he didnt have his eyes open. someone entered the room that harry xi was in!. "harry, i must to speak with you." harry xi awokened to reveal who was there. it was Professor Damurjin. "harry, i saw you using your qu1cksk0p1ng powers at quittich. you see, you should NOT do that. dont. No no no no no no no no no." harry xi wondered why. "like how people cant use hogwarts magic outside of hogwarts, you cant use your ability when avyone sees you otherwise it will cause mass panicking. so pl0x don't." damurjin left the room after hitting a table knocking over a vase. "it was a cheap crap anyway". harry xi was now thinking about things. he entered a monologue:

"it kinda sucks that i cant use this since everyone is always around all the time. plus i cant use it unless im an emergency, maybe if i learn ho to control the harnessed power more efficiently and rapidly. i need to make sure responsibly so that the innocent isnt hurt." it was getting to the evening of that very day, and harry xi was tired. he brushed his teeth and layed down on his couch. that night he had trouble sleeping because he had too much on his mind. "hey let me listen to some emphemearlrift" he said. and then he went a sleep really really REALLY fast.

Chapter 24: The Clues Add Up

The next day Harry Xi realized he had been sleeping for a whole night. "Wow the school year is amlost over and I remember that I slept in most of the days" harry Xi said. He got a new brand of coffee called INTERNATIONAL DELIGHT AND drank the whole cartoon. Suddenly the three entered. "Harray, com quick" they said with British accents. They rusheld over to Moaning Myrtle's barthroom and asked her the question after Harry Pooter found the diary. "Mortle, how _did_ you die?" They said. But moaning myrtle was too busy being in the closed stall moaning, so loudly she couldn't hear them. Harry Xi was acquiring annoyed. "Myrtle answer the damn question" but myrtule only started to cry. Harry Xi was agitated. Harry Xi kicked the door down and grabbed her by the ghost shirt since he cast a spell that let him touch ghost. He pulled her real close to his mouth and said aggressively "you listen here you whiny little BUTCH" he said and shook her once. "When we ask you a GOD AMN question, you, are gonna fuckin' ANSWER." HE SHOOK her again. He threw her off the hand and she flew down and was hurt and began to soob. "Yeah cry about it" harry Xi said and kicked her head twice. Then harry Xi threw the toilet seat at her. Harry and the rest starred with aew. "Harry what's gotten into you" they said. "Must be the new coffee." He said calmly. and then he calmly walked over to myrtle, and grabbed the door and smashed her with it. Now they had to find out how the died. "Let's see.. " harry poter said. "We need this crucial piece of information to enter the chamber."... Harry Xi had some ghost blood on his hands so he went over to wash them. He tried to turn on the sink but instead it opened up and stuff. " harry you found the chamber" Ron said since he was so excited. bu tthen someone walked in. it was the guy with the golden cape! "oi, i cant let you do that, and i must say i do look good." he said. harry xi knew it was time. time to MAKE HIM SHUT UP FOREVER!" "flipendo" he said and made the Lockhert fall backwards. suddenly someone else came in too as if the plot isnt tense enough already! it was PROFESSOR DAMURJIN. damurjin shot his spells at lockheart to make him be quiet some more and to make him look ugly. "NOOO MY LOOKS" he didnt say because he was quiet. Then they jumped in the chamber ready to go.

Chapter 25: The Chamber Of Finally Secrets

They slides down the thing which ended up in a drainage place. It was really dark and some of the textures woldnt load. "Was is this place" harry xi asked out loud. !Suddenly! the Lockhart said "not...today, boiiiii" and cast a forgetful spell on Ron. Ron didn't know which was what! "Where. Where am I Harry Xi?" He asid. "What you were post to forget MORE.. I look good" lockheart said. Harry Xi adjusted his glases just as harry poter got over there. Lockheart said once more thing "your jurney ends here." And cast a broken ankle spell witchcraft on harry poster. "You will not proceede from my amazing looks! you can't win! You lose! Haha! " and cast a character irrelevance spell on hermine. But it failed! She was already irrelevant at this pont. So instead she got teleported to the common room and was blinded forever. Rocks fell down on the ground. "You weren't post to be a boss fight!" Harry Xi muttered loudly. Lockheart looked at his mirror longer. And brushed Hus hair with fingers. "Oh this will turn into no boss fight, because you are ALREADY TURNED INTO DEFEATED" and casted a rictusemprah on harry xi. However more rocks feel down because harry xi feell onto the wall causing it to shake. The floor crumpled. A chunk of floor coppapsrd down onto the and it was Professor Damurjin with his laptop. He looked around without making any speak. "Who did this?" Professor Damurjin demanded. Lockhart nervously said nothing. Damurjin Professor shot a flipendo his way knocking him down and making him ugly af. Lockheart got his mirror and said NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!. "And I was about to defeat Jezebel without taking any damage now I have to restart the lp" he said. Garry xi said "yo Damurjin let's go look for whatever we were post to look for in the chamber." Professor Damurjin started and said "oh yeah BUT we need to be careful. It will be a long journey together. We will lose lots of health along the way. Good thing you have so much wigentree potion. But our spells may not be enough to defeat so many people." Suddenly the floor shook and more items came down. It was Harry xi's rugger charger .22 magnum sheengun and a cane from zombie smashers x. "Let's do this" he saidm. He knew for it may be necessary to sparingly use his qu1ksk0p1ng abilitys.

Chapter 26: Venturing The Chamber With Boldly

They came across the first room and stuff. Damurjin skillfully jumped around and cast many a flipendo. Harry Xi hardskoped some snails far off. They proceede boldly through the cewers and Damurjin and Harry Xi got some wizord cards. "This is my 450th gold card" Harry Xi said. "Nerd" Damurjin replied. It was getting really really intense with so much skurging and spongifing and qu1ksk0p1ng. They got to this one part where the doors closed and opened really fast. "okay listen… we need to run this really really fast and dont hesitate for a moment or you will become like PANCAKE" Damurjin told Harry Xi instructed him. Damurjin and Harry Xi ran through the tunnels. There was a lot of secrets but Harry xi kept alohomoring them into reality with magic and they got so many beans. "I can use these to make more trades' harry xi said. "harry listen" damurjin stopped him dead in his tracks. "I know how badly you want to use your QU1KSK0P1NG abilities, but you must save them for another time. I read a lot about VOLDUMORT and he is strong. You must resist him. In fact he feeds off of anger and using your abilities makes him spiritually stronger. Just dont do it" he said. Harry xi reluctantly agrreed. They went through crumbing buildings and pillars but Damurjin was a master of qizardry by now and Harry Xi was kind agood also i guess. But suddenly… something happened when they almost got to the snake area.

Chapter 27: A Suprise

Someone opened a door slowly. It was… "HERMINE WHART ARE YOU DO HERE?" harry xi asked her politely. "...you guys never care about me, im the character NO ONE CARES ABOUT!" she yeled. "...well she has a point" Damurjin said. that made hermine angrier. she screamed loudly in a fit of rage. Harry xi looked out the side and thought about swaying trees. Hermine got magical powers and released many humanoid monsters of decaying appearance genetically modified to hunt and eat anything alive ecspecially other humans. "you mean zombies" harry xi said. No harry xi i think that term might be copyrighted. Something started glowing underneath Samurjin's outfit. "dude you are radioactive" harry xi said and started machinegunning down some enemys. "it's a tatoo, and it gives me special abilities." famurjin said. he gripped the caine tightly in his hand. then he let it fly and it punctured multiple enemies heads right off. he ran up to them and did a flying kick knocking them all down. He grabed the last one and punched it so hard its head came off and it ran around for a while. after it all Damurjin got some coins he found. "HOW DARE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF ME. THIS PLACE WILL CRUMPLE AND YOU WILL BE IN IT OH WAIT YOU ALREADY ARE!" she said screamingly. "harry, quick, use this button it will give you an invincible shield" and he pressed it and was surrounded by a green bubble beacuse force field are always green and circular. Damurjin cracked his knuckles and ran up to her. He punched her in the air. then he ran over to bher and punched her again into the air. then again. then again. then again. then she phased through this punch. "wow this is becomgin a really bad crossover story" harry si said. "AGHHH YOU DEFEATED ME DARN IT IT WWAS VOLDUMORT WHU CONVINCED ME TO DO THIS HE IS OVER THERE" and she pointed "AAAAARRRRGHHHYY" and died. they approached the snake statue flame area.

Chapter 28: Voldumort Is Drawing Nearer

Harry Xi smelled something really bad. "yo it stank here" he said. he located the sense of bad smell to a pipe in the wall. He had to jump down this wall thing to get to a flat area to get to the pipe. But he tripped over something and his match feel down. He got up and saw it was a little girl he tripped on. "wait…" damurjin replied. "that's ron weasey's little sister!" he annouced. Shared a moment of silence. But then her jacket caught on fire because the match was on it. harry xi took off the coat and threw it into the pipe. then they heard evil footsteps! then a guy came out from nowhere up above them on the side. then he said "You buffooms, you have fallen to my trap. gin weasly was hypotized into writing cat blood on the wall to LUUUUURREEE you down here" then he smiled and Harry xi noticed "hey thats volumort". "hu hYA THINK" damurjin replied. He back up a few paces. "im the air of slytherine, and will take over the WORLD WILTH MY EVIL POWERS" he shouted and laughed and coughed a bit. "listen here volDUMBort, were gonna take you down single handedly" harry xi confidenced. "thats what you think" voldumort yelled back. he parseltongued something and a sound heard from in the pipes. the snake shot out eventualy, its eyes on fire burning and meltiing from their sockets. However, damurjin was in the line of fire form the jacket that was flaming from before, and was charred really badly. He got nocked out. harry xi ran over and said "POFESSOR DAMURKIN ARE YOU ALRIGHT…!" voldemort made a remark about how good it was that he was disabled. "...no…" harry xi cried. tears rolled down from his glasses. damurjin did not move in any way. voldemort said parseltongue and the snake came to attack him. it hit harry xi badly on the neck! harry xi was faint and his vision fading fast… until….

Chapter 29: Inner Thoughts

harry xi was eating at his table at home. "no… he's mine-you can't just…" his mom, harry xi's mom, was finished talking on the phone. She looked extremely worried, but brushed it off. his mommy got his favorite meal which was some rice and sliced beef and gerneral tos chicken. "mommy this is good food" harry xi said and smiled becaus he was only 5 years old at the time. heartwarming moment. mommy said "im glad you like the food, my little angle." and smild at him. whatever had her worried before seemed to fade to the abck of her mind. They ate dinner together, and harry xi and his mom talked all about his day at pre school. then his daddy came in through the door. "harry xis mom, im here..." he said. harry xis mom worried really fast, as she looked around frantically. "quick harry xi, lets go upstairs. youll be in your room for a bit. go play on your nintendo." she said as she carried him upstairs. "but mommy its a xbox" he replied in his high pitched, slightly mumbled and slurred stereotypical 5 year old voice. harry xi got in his room and the door shut. he got out his favorite game, duke nukem. he played it till he got to INCUBATOR because hes a slimeophobe. harry xi turned off the nintendo and went to the door afte rhearing a thud. "HARRY XIS DADDY STOP IT THIS INSTANT" she yelled. "HARRY XIS MOMNY, IVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT. HES COMING WITH ME. HARRY XI!" harry xi didnt move because he was to scared. he grabed his favorite stuffed animal which was a beagle. harry xis mom ran upstairs and grabed him into her grasp. she surrounded him with guarding. "give me the harry" he said. "you arent getting harry xi." harry xi got upset. "give HIM TO ME" he said and punched her in the face. she feel down and let harry xi roll away who was now sobbing really hard. hewas crying when harry xis daddy came over and said "come here" with his arms out. he grabed him and picked him up. harry xi was bawling his eyes out and screaming really hard. his beagle's tail gotcaught in some nails on the doorway. harry xi tightly held onto the beagle from its head. dad stopped and said "harry let GO OF THE DAMN DOLL". harry xi wouldn't let go of his favorite beagle. he held on tigher and was slipping from his father's angry grip. "Harry Xi, I SAID LET GO!" his force tore the beagles arm off and stuffing flew everywhere. this was, of course, harry xi's favorite one, which made him even more upset to now see his best friend in a messy, unwould, cotton-filled pile of shambles on the tile floor. harry xi cried harder and was kicking around. "HARRY XI SHUT UP THIS INSTANT" and he struck him on the head. he realized what he did and dropped him down, staring at the floor. harry xi ran over to his stuffed dog. he picked up its head, string and stuffed remains dangling from its neck, and hugged it one last time. his tears of agony soaked the cotton, giving it a darker color. he let the head drop to the ground, and turned around to his father.

"harry xi, im so sorry. please forgive me."

"harry, please. it will never happen again."

"i'll get you a new doll, hows that sound"

"...harry, please…"

harry xi continued to sob in the memory of his now destroyed companion. he thought about the intense emotional connection he had with it. Now, it was nothing but a pile of mess.

…

…

…

…

…

Harry xi stopped sobbing, and slowly looked at his father,

"... you... you can't... replace him."

Harry xi ran up and punched his father's face. the force was so strong, his fist punctured his skull and brains flew everywhere. as he did this, everything faded to white, and he regained his consciousness.

Chapter 30: He's Pissed

harry xi got up. Damurjin was still unconscious on the floor. he went and took his charger and cocked it. the snake was slithering around, and harry xi's hands began to shake. eberything went blurry for a moment, but then it went reddish yellow. "this ones for you mom" he said.

he ran up to the snake and n0sk0pd it 25 times. the snake was furious and ran around trying to catch him, but harry xi was to fast. harry xi shot its nose off and grabed the snakes tongue. he pulled so hard it came out of the snakes mouth. now the snake was vomiting so much blood, you'd think it was a bad creepypasta. harry xi flipendod it 3 times in less than a second pushing it back to the edge. harry xi n0sk0pd it and did a backflip around its head. he grabed the snake by its tail and smashed it back and forth on the walls with one arm and a very good stance. afterwards, he bit into its tail and tore it off with its teeth. the snake yelped somehow, and harry xi snapped its head sideways. it was done for. harry xo looked into the snake's charred eyes, which started to glow once he looked into them.. Harry xi stepped on the eyes, puss oozing out on the floor. He grabbed some of the eye juice, and jumped up to voldumort. He jammed it down his throat, and tore his hair and arms out. he kneed his stomach so hard that voldumort coughed up his intestines and all of the mucus lining in his stomach. he pushed his head into the disgusting pile of innards, and with his foot, smeared his face around in it. "like that, you son of a f***ing bitch?" harry xi asked him. he grabed voldumort's head, and looked at it once more, and said: "you done goofed up". he smashed voldumort's head into his knee so that his knee left a permanent brain-damaging dent in his skull. harry xi took him over to a stone, and smashed his head many many times into the stone as voldumort screamed so hard he literally coughed up a part of his lungs. all ofthis soon stopped, because after about 34 head smashes, harry xi punctured skull and brian matter flung everywhere. he was out of breath and was about to pass out form exhaustion, when he heard more footsteps.

Chapter 30: House Pont Ceramony Final One And Banquet With Floating Food

harry xi awoke in a chair in Dumpldore's office. dumpldore turned around to confront harry xi. "harry xi, you have been through rough times. you single-handedly murdered lord voldumort, which even the ministry of magic can't even figure out. you reached a mental state so unstable, you bent realiy itself… harry xi-you have special powers." harry xi was drowzy , but then nodded. "yeah… yeah Professor Damurjin told me about that." dumpledore looked surprised. "Ah yes! Damurjin! He is okay, he went back to his home. he said he would contact you later on about the events that unfolded." harry xi looked aorund. "now harry xi, let's go to the house pont ceraminy." so they did. Harry xi ate a lot and a lot of food and some folgers coffee because who doesnt like folgers i mean come on. ron weasley was there. "harry xi! harry xi! thank you so much for savimg me sistah, giney!" harry xi welcomed him and dug into some mhased taters. "ATENTTTTIOOOONNNNNNN" dumpledore said. "we will now announce the winner of this year, since we are short on time and tax dollars we cant afford to announce the other losers" then everyone nodded all at once. "the winner of this year is…

HUFFLEPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFF!"

hufflepuffs cheered and ran around and screamed and hugged each others. then they all got quiet as Dumpldore grinned a sly grin.

"kek i cannot actually believe, you guys feel for that.

ITS ACTUALLY GRYDINDOOOOOOORRRRRR"

and then the gryfindorks cheered happily. Harry xi hooted and hollered while jumped on the table and tore off his shirt and swung it around lasso style.

 _ **-HARRY XI AND THE QU1KSK0P3 OF DOOM-**_

Epilogyue:

Harry xi returned home to his mommy. "mom, its me harry xi." but no one was there. "MAHM PLS" he yelled but no response. he got an email on his iphone, but he couldn;t read it because he got EffectivePowered. "this is from Damurjin, i'll have to read it on my computer." he said and want upstairs to his room. his xbox lay there next to the TV just the way he left it. he sighed and turned on his HP. the chair he was sitting on broke and he slipped flat on the floor. "ow" he said. Unde rhis deak was a suprise- the beagle's head with a note up its neck. harry xi backed up and got choked up a bit. the shaking of the floor cause the head to roll over to him and the note slide out. He saw the note on the ground that said

"TO MY DEAR FRIEND HARRY XI,

YOU WONT SEE HARRY XIS MOM AGAIN

LOVE SINCERELY, VOLDUMORT"

 _ **-SHOULD SEQUEL?-**_


End file.
